The Origin of Tea

As part of Stories and other things I am ashamed of.

                                       7/12/2010

The original tea kettle

     Many people believe that it was the second emperor of China, Shen Nung, who discovered tea in 2737 B.C. when tea leaves blew into his cup of hot water or so the story goes. What many people don't know is that tea actually came from Russia just a year before. A man by the name of Feodor Petrovich Matroshuginsky was walking in the Egyptian desert. The water he had brought along with him to drink was long time boiled in the heat of the sun. Then he saw a sign, it was a green rock similar to the Chinese jade, but a rock that was also discovered before jade (by the Russians, of course). 

The strange Jade-like stone.

     He picked up the rock and casted it into the sky in hopes of finding dinner. When the stone had missed, he was ready to give up, when suddenly he noticed a fracture appearing on the surface of the stone. He threw it up again and again and then two more times and finally it cracked in half. Inside were strange leaves of many different colors. He put one in his mouth and tasted its bitterness. Then, without thinking, began to drink the water from his flask. The result was nothing short of a miracle. That day, in the Egyptian desert in 2736 B.C. when the sun gave off its hottest rays, Feodor Petrovich Matroshuginsky had discovered tea.

Feodor Petrovich Matroshuginsky admiring his discovery.

And so I have more of a reason to obsess over tea. And what's more, history proves that I am a direct descendant of Feodor Petrovich Matroshuginsky. I can't fight this, it’s in my blood.

Feodor Petrovich Matroshuginsky entertaining patrons with a classic Russian dance at the local tavern.